105 The Stages of Recovery: Part 2, Awareness 

Episode Summary

After the overwhelming standstill of the Moratorium, what comes next? This episode explores Stage 2 of the recovery blueprint: Awareness. This is the critical turning point where the fog begins to lift and the first, fragile spark of hope becomes possible. Host Jan Carter explains that hope isn't a passive feeling you wait for—it's an active, trainable skill. Learn the science behind moving from "learned helplessness" to "learned hopefulness," and discover a practical toolkit to find and nurture that first glimmer of possibility, rewiring your brain for recovery.

"For weeks after my health crisis, every conversation was serious. It was all about medication schedules, symptoms, what I could and couldn't do... the weight of it was just... heavy. Laughter felt like a distant memory from another life.

Then one afternoon, I was having one of those classic parent-kid negotiations with my son about some chore he hadn't done. I was in full dad-mode, and I said to him, 'Look, this is a serious issue, you need to deal with it.'

And he just looks at me, completely deadpan, and says, 'Dad, that doesn't sound like an issue. It sounds like an ish-you, not an ish-me.'

And I just... broke. A real, deep, belly laugh. The kind I hadn't felt in months. It was like a rusty engine sputtering to life. It was unexpected, and it was involuntary. That laugh... it wasn't just a laugh. It was a signal. It was my body reminding me that the old me, the person who could feel joy, was still in there. That spark... that is the beginning of Awareness."

(Music swells and fades into the background)

JAN CARTER (Introduction): "Welcome back to Second Wind, and to Part 2 of our 5-part series, 'The Blueprint for Your Mind.'

In our last episode, we dove into Stage One:

The Moratorium. That's the psychological standstill, the fog of shock, denial, and the very real fear that comes with it. It's when your brain's CEO is sent home, and your only job is to survive.

As we walk through this journey together, it’s helpful to remember the full map. We’ve been through the Moratorium. Today, we're entering Stage Two: Awareness. From here, we'll move into

Preparation, then the hard work of Rebuilding, and finally, we'll arrive at Growth.

So, what is Awareness? It's the turning point. It's that first laugh, that first flicker of the old you. Today, we're talking about how to find and grow that first, fragile spark of hope."

Myth Buster Minute

JAN CARTER: "It’s time for our Myth Buster Minute. The myth we're tackling today is the one we hear all the time, from well-meaning friends and family: 'Just hang in there and have hope.'

As if hope is some magical dust that will just land on you if you wait patiently enough. We imagine 'finding hope' is like finding a four-leaf clover. But when you're in a dark place and you don't 'feel' hopeful, that advice can make you feel even more broken.

The truth, and the science is really clear on this, is that hope isn't a passive feeling you find; it's an active strategy you execute. It's a thought process, a skill with specific, trainable parts. It's a verb. And today, we're going to learn how to train it."

(Short musical transition)

Segment 1: The Science - The Mechanics of Hope

JAN CARTER: "To understand how to build hope, we first have to understand the trap we're trying to escape. The danger of staying in the Moratorium stage for too long is that it can harden into a psychological trap called Learned Helplessness.

The story of this discovery is fascinating. In the 1960s, a psychologist named Martin Seligman was conducting experiments. He had two groups. Both were exposed to an unpleasant noise. The first group had a button they could press to make the noise stop. They had control. The second group had a button too, but it did nothing. They had no control.

Later, he put both groups in a new situation. This time, the noise would play, but all they had to do was a simple action to escape it. And here's what he found: the group that had control in the first experiment quickly learned to escape. But the second group? The one that had learned their actions didn't matter? They didn't even try. They just sat there and took it, even with an easy escape route right in front of them. They had learned to be helpless.

That feeling of hopelessness, powerlessness, and a tendency to withdraw from challenges is the very definition of the Moratorium. It's a mental cage. The Awareness stage is about realizing the door to that cage is actually open.

So, knowing this,

Hope Theory, from psychologist C.R. Snyder, gives us our playbook. Snyder showed that hope isn't one thing; it's a tripod, resting on three legs:

Goals, Pathways, and Agency.

First, you need Goals. Now, we’re not talking about huge goals here. The simple act of setting a goal, any goal, is an act of defiance against helplessness. It's a statement that the future is not a blank wall. A goal like, 'I want to be able to sit outside in the sun for five minutes' is a tiny pin on the map that gives you a direction.

Second, you need Pathways. This is the 'how.' It's the belief that you can generate one or more routes to get to that pin on the map. This is the absolute core of the Awareness stage. You're not walking the path yet, you're just starting to believe a path might exist.

And that brings us to the third leg: Agency. Agency is the motivation, the 'I can do this' spark. This is the weakest leg of the tripod at this stage, but it gets stronger every time you identify a possible pathway and especially every time you see someone else who has walked that path."

(Musical transition)

Segment 2: The Action - Your Hope Toolkit

JAN (SCRIPT): "So how do we start building the three legs of that tripod? I want to share a story from my own journey that perfectly illustrates this shift from feeling powerless to taking the first small, deliberate steps toward reclaiming control.

It all started as I was getting stronger again after having gained 30 pounds during my pulmonary embolism days. I had started going to the gym and was starting to go back to martial arts... and I started getting this sharp pain in each of my elbows. At first, I did what a lot of us do: I ignored it. I assumed it would just go away, because in my twenties, that’s what usually happened.

But it didn't. After trying a few things, the real 'aha!' moment came from a conversation with a friend who's also in his forties. We discussed how tendons get more injured as you get older. That was the spark.

So I started doing my own research... and I learned something crucial. What the science says—and this is from research from the National Institutes of Health—is that tendon pain is a totally different beast from muscle pain. Muscles are full of blood, which helps them heal. But tendons, the ropes that connect our muscles to our bones, have a terrible blood supply. This means they heal incredibly slowly. And as we get older, that process gets even slower.

Suddenly, it all clicked... This is the 'Patient to Participant' moment. I went from being a passive victim of this pain to actively understanding the mechanics of what was happening in my body.

And that new understanding led directly to my first micro-goal. My goal wasn't some huge thing like 'fix my elbows.' Based on my research, my first, tiny, achievable goal was this: before every single workout, I will learn how to properly strap my elbows to support the tendons. A small, practical step. But it changed everything. It significantly helped my recovery and helped me avoid re-injury. That simple act was proof that I could move from just experiencing pain to developing a plan.

So with that in mind, here are our three strategies.

First, Go from Patient to Participant. In the medical world, this is called 'Patient Activation.' Research shows that patients who are more engaged—who have the knowledge and confidence to manage their own health—consistently have better outcomes. It’s about taking back control. My story about researching my elbow is one way to do it—becoming an information gatherer. Another way is to become a Strategic Questioner. Before your next doctor's appointment, write down one question. A third way is to see yourself as the Manager of Your Team. Your doctors and therapists are your expert consultants, but you are the project manager

Second, The Power of the 'Micro-Goal'. Now, many of you might remember our earlier episode on SMART goals. This is related, but what we're talking about here is even smaller. We're talking about the 'A' for Achievable, taken to an almost ridiculous extreme. The goal isn't 'go for a run,' it's 'put your running shoes by the door.' The goal isn't 'heal my elbows,' it's 'put the support tape on.' Each tiny win builds

self-efficacy—the belief in your ability to succeed. It’s like pushing a giant, heavy flywheel. The first push is incredibly hard. But the next is a little easier. And soon, the momentum from all those tiny pushes is doing the work for you.

And third, Find One Piece of Proof. This is about finding that 'vicarious experience' that proves a pathway exists. And honestly, that’s one of the core reasons we created this podcast and the

'Comeback Corner.' It's a place to hear those stories. If you're listening and you haven't found a story that feels like yours yet, please, email us at thesecondwindpodcast@gmail.com. Tell us your situation. We will help you find that proof. You are not the first person to walk this trail, and you don't have to walk it alone."

(Musical Transition)

Conclusion

JAN CARTER: "Going from patient to participant. Building momentum with micro-goals. And finding proof that the path exists. These are the tools that create the first spark of hope. It’s not about a sudden miracle; it’s about the quiet, deliberate work of moving from learned helplessness to learned hopefulness. You are becoming the architect of your own recovery.

And that brings us to Stage Three: Preparation. Once you're aware that a path exists, it's time to start building the toolkit you'll need to walk it. In next week's episode, we'll talk about how to translate the hope you've cultivated into a concrete, actionable plan. Make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss Part Three of the Blueprint."

Your Next Small Step

JAN CARTER: "And now, for Your Next Small Step. This week, your only job is to choose one of these two options.

Option A, the Physical Step: Set one, tiny, ridiculously small physical goal that is well within the safe limits set by your medical team. Put on your workout clothes. Do one single stretch. Walk to the end of your driveway and back.

Or, Option B, the Mental Step: Go from patient to participant. Pick one word your doctor used that you didn't understand, or one aspect of your condition you're curious about, and spend ten minutes looking it up on a credible website.

Choose just one. A physical step or a mental step. That's your only job this week."

I’m Jan Carter. And this is Second Wind.

(Outro Music - swells to finish)

References and Further Reading

On Hope Theory & The Psychology of the Awareness Stage:

• "Hope Theory: A Model of Well-Being" - An accessible article from PositivePsychology.com explaining the work of C.R. Snyder.

• "Learned Helplessness: Seligman's Theory of Depression" - A good overview from Simply Psychology or Verywell Mind explaining the foundational concept that the Awareness stage helps to overcome.

• "Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control" by Albert Bandura: The foundational academic work on how achieving small goals (mastery experiences) and seeing others succeed (vicarious experiences) builds the belief in your own ability to succeed.

On Patient Activation & Becoming an Informed Participant:

• Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality (AHRQ): Search for "Patient Activation Measure (PAM)" to find resources on how patient engagement improves health outcomes.

• "The Healing Power of Peer Support" - An article from the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) that discusses the psychological benefits of shared experience