109 The Stages of Recovery: Part 5, Growth 

Episode Summary

In the final episode of our mini-series, we explore the surprising and profound outcome of the recovery journey: Growth. This isn't about being "cured" or forgetting the pain; it's about how the struggle with adversity can change you for the better. Host Jan Carter introduces the science of Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG), explaining how it differs from simple resilience. Learn the five key areas where growth occurs, how to find meaning in your story, and how to use a proven, science-backed method for managing your "new normal."

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You never forget the view from the bottom of the valley, during your health crisis. The physical pain that feels like a constant static in your body, the mental fog, the exhaustion that feels like gravity is twice as strong. For a long time, you can’t imagine how you will get out. But then, one day, you find yourself on a peak, one you never intended to climb. The air is clear, and you can admire the view. You're not the same person who was trapped in the valley. You're stronger. And you realize the struggle didn't just get you out of the valley; it made you a different kind of person. And, that is growth.

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Whether you're battling back from a major injury, navigating a life-altering diagnosis, or your body isn’t what it once was... the journey to feel strong and truly capable again is one of the toughest there is. But this isn't just about bouncing back. It's about bouncing forward. And this is where you'll find your second wind.

I’m Jan Carter, and this is Second Wind: The Blueprint for Your Comeback.

After a major health event in my 40s, I had to find the practical blueprint to rebuild. I’m not a doctor or a health guru. I'm a guy who had to learn how to do this while balancing work, family, and a recovery that felt impossibly slow. This podcast is the blueprint I wish I'd had.

So for the athlete, the one who just doesn't recover like they used to, and the survivor—.

You are not in this alone. Let's build your comeback, together.

Welcome to the fifth and final episode of our mini series, 'The Blueprint for Your Mind.' We've walked a long path together: from the shock of the Moratorium, to the first spark of hope in Awareness, through the planning of Preparation, and the hard work of Rebuilding. Today, we arrive at our destination: Stage 5, Growth.

But it's so important to say this up front: this stage of Growth isn't a free gift. It doesn't just happen. It is the direct result of the incredibly hard work we talked about in the last episode—the work of Rebuilding. It comes from accepting and celebrating what we once did, finding the spark that continues on, and getting curious about what else we've found out about ourselves. Growth is the house you get to live in, but Rebuilding is the foundation you had to pour. You have to do the work to get the reward.

Today, we're talking about that reward: the stage where we learn not just to live with our new reality, but to thrive within it.

Myth Buster Minute

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And now for our myth buster minute. The Myth: "Post-traumatic growth is a 'silver lining', which means you're ultimately glad the trauma happened." The Truth: Obviously not. Growth does not cancel out the pain, and it does not require you to be grateful for your suffering. The trauma and the growth can and do co-exist. The growth doesn't come from the traumatic event itself; it comes from the incredibly hard work you did to survive it and make sense of it. It is a testament to your resilience, not a justification for your pain. So while the pain may be fresh in your mind, there may be moments of growth you haven’t noticed yet.

Segment 1: The Science - The Paradox of Growth

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So what is this final stage? We often hear about resilience, which is our essential ability to 'bounce back' after a crisis. But today, we're talking about something more profound: Post-Traumatic Growth. This isn't about bouncing back; it's the experience of 'bouncing forward.'

Research has identified five key areas where this Post Traumatic Growth typically shows up. As I go through them, reflect on your health journey and see if you recognize even a flicker of any of these in your own life.  

First, is a Greater Appreciation of Life. This is the most commonly reported area of growth. It's that fundamental shift in perspective where the small, everyday moments become vibrant and precious. After confronting your own mortality, the traffic jam on the way to work just doesn't seem as important anymore. So, ask yourself: Has your relationship with time changed? Do you find yourself savoring small moments that you used to rush past?

Second, Stronger, More Intimate Relationships. A crisis is a powerful social filter. It burns away superficial connections and reveals who is truly in your corner. The shared vulnerability can create a new level of intimacy and compassion with loved ones. Think about your closest relationships. Has this experience deepened your sense of compassion for what other people might be going through?

Third, Recognizing New Possibilities in Life. When your old life map is destroyed, you're forced to draw a new one. This can be terrifying, but it can also be liberating. It can open you up to new paths, new interests, and new purposes that you never would have considered when you were on autopilot. Has the closing of one door forced you to look for new ones?

Fourth, Enhanced Personal Strength. This isn't about physical strength; it's a quiet, internal knowledge that you are more resilient than you ever thought possible. It’s a confidence that is forged in fire. Do you have a new sense of confidence that says, 'If I survived that, I can handle this'?

And fifth, a Spiritual or Existential Change. A health crisis forces you to grapple with life's big questions. It strips away the non-essential and makes you get crystal clear on what truly matters. So, has this experience changed or deepened your sense of your 'why'?

Now, these domains aren't separate boxes; they're often intertwined. A single moment can reveal growth in several areas at once. Let me share a story from my own life that, looking back, touches on a few of these.

I remember one afternoon, the kids were at home causing the usual chaos. I could hear them pushing and shoving each other to be heard from the other room. In the past, my frustration would have met theirs. But this time was different. I realized I had a small break in my schedule, and I could step away. I went into the living room, and after the initial round of accusations, I just calmly asked them what they could do to solve the problem. Before, I would have tried to fix it for them, or separated them to calm down. But now, I was calmer as this was not the worst thing that would ever happen, and my job wasn't to solve it, but to give them the tools to resolve their own issues.

That one small moment held a new appreciation for the simple parts of life, a stronger relationship with my kids built on a new kind of respect, and a new sense of personal strength.  Now I’m not saying I overnight became father of the year, but I find myself able to deal with situations in a calmer way as I survived something far worse and this was simple by comparison. And my family is important to me and I want to leave them with the tools they need to be able to solve their own problems

Segment 2: The Action - Cultivating a Life of Growth

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Growth isn't a final destination; it's an ongoing practice. Here are three ways to actively cultivate those ares of Post Traumatic Groth in your life.Maybe you’ve already identified a few areas that apply to you, or maybe there are some areas that you can cultivate to enjoy the growth stage that you are aiming for, or in.

Strategy 1: Become a Storyteller (Generativity).

Our first strategy for cultivating growth is to become a storyteller. The science behind this is a concept called Generativity. This powerful idea comes from one of the giants of psychology, Erik Erikson. He proposed that as we move through life, we face different psychological challenges. And for an adult in the middle of their life, the central challenge is 'Generativity versus Stagnation.' Stagnation is the feeling of being stuck and self-absorbed. But Generativity... that's the deep human need to create and nurture things that will outlast you. It's about guiding the next generation and giving back. A health crisis can be a powerful trigger for this shift, leading to a profound desire to use your hard-won wisdom to help others. It's about turning your pain into a purpose.

For me, this started recently. I joined Facebook for the first time and actively sought out communities of people recovering from major health crises, such as mine, blood clots. I was stunned to see groups with ten thousand-plus members, full of messages of hope and despair, and people responding, supporting, and consoling each other without judgment, because they too had walked in those shoes.

I found myself responding to people, offering reassurance and encouraging words based on my own experiences. And it goes both ways. Just the other day, there was smoke in the air from forest fires burning a long distance away. The gritty air was giving me flashbacks to the challenges of breathing with my pulmonary embolisms, and I posted that on the forum. I immediately received a couple of encouraging emoticon responses and nudges of reassurance. It was a small thing, but it was a reminder that you can find connection and give back, all at the same time.

And what resonated, was we were all telling stories about our own experiences which was clearly helping others.

And Sharing your journey and helping others—this is a great example of how to build on the Post traumatic areas of Meaning and Purpose, and building Stronger Relationships.

Strategy 2: Practice Active Gratitude.

Post-traumatic growth often brings a new appreciation for life, and this next strategy is about making that a deliberate practice. This isn't just about 'counting your blessings.' 

Researchers like Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough did studies where they had one group write down a few things they were grateful for each week. The results were stunning. The gratitude group didn't just feel happier; they were more optimistic, they exercised more, and they even had fewer visits to the doctor. They proved that gratitude is like a mental muscle. For someone in recovery, this is a game-changer. It trains your brain to see the good that co-exists with the pain. The action is to identify and write down three 'simple joys' you experienced at the end of each day. A warm cup of coffee, a good conversation, the feeling of the sun... or for an athlete, maybe it's the feeling of that first pain-free rep in the gym, or the satisfying ache of a muscle you're rebuilding.

A mental gratitude could be for a moment of mental clarity in the middle of a foggy day, or for the focus to read one full page of a book. The action is to find a way to consistently and deliberately notice the good. You could keep a formal journal, start a "gratitude jar" where your family drops in notes about small, good things, or even just tell one person, once a day, that you appreciate them.

This Action Plan is a practical, weekly proof of your Enhanced Personal Strength—it’s how you build confidence and take control.

Strategy 3: Embrace the 'New Normal' with an Action Plan.

Our final strategy is about making this growth sustainable. The idea comes from groundbreaking work done at Stanford University by a researcher named Dr. Kate Lorig. She noticed that patients with chronic conditions were getting great medical treatment, but no one was teaching them how to manage their lives between doctor's visits. So she developed the Chronic Disease Self-Management Program. The single most powerful tool from her entire program is the weekly action plan. It’s a simple but structured way to turn a vague intention into a concrete commitment. It answers four questions: What will you do? How much? When? and How often? And crucially, you rate your confidence from 1 to 10 and only commit to something you're at least a 7 out of 10 confident about.

For example, a bad physical plan is 'I'm going to exercise more.' A good action plan is: 'What? I will walk on the treadmill. How much? For 15 minutes. When? At 8 AM. How often? On Monday and Wednesday. My confidence is an 8.' Or let's say your goal is mental. A bad plan is 'I'm going to be less anxious.' A good action plan is: 'What? I will do a 5-minute guided meditation. When? Right after my morning coffee. How often? Every weekday. My confidence is a 9.' It turns a vague wish into a concrete, achievable mission.

The practice of Active Gratitude is the daily workout that builds your Greater Appreciation for Life.

Conclusion

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And so we've reached the end of our five-part blueprint for the mind. We started in the Moratorium, learning to accept being a patient and just survive. In Awareness, we found the first spark of hope and started to become an active participant. In Preparation, we became the project manager, building our toolkit and our plan. In Rebuilding, we did the hard work of letting go of who we were to make space for who we are becoming. And now, here in Growth, we learn to thrive.

And it’s so important to say, as we close this series, that reaching this stage of Growth doesn't mean you'll never have a bad day again. The journey of recovery is not linear; there will be setbacks. But our goal with this podcast, and with this entire five-part blueprint, has been to give you a map. It’s to help you understand where you are, to know that it's normal, and to give you the tools to keep moving forward, in whatever way you can, especially on the hard days.

The most important takeaway is that the struggle you've endured is not an ending. It is the very engine that can forge new strength, deeper relationships, and a more profound sense of purpose. Your story isn't over; the most meaningful chapter may have just begun.

And that's a wrap on this episode of Second Wind.

"Thank you so much for spending this time with us today. If you have a comeback story that you’d like to share or a question for an expert, please email us at thesecondwindpodcast@gmail.com.

And if you found this episode helpful, the best way to support the show is to hit 'Follow' on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and leave a quick review. It helps Second Wind find the people who need it most.

And before we go, just a quick but important reminder: I'm not a doctor, and the conversations on this podcast are for informational and inspirational purposes only. This isn't medical advice. Please, always consult your own physician or healthcare team before making any changes to your health routine. They know you and your story best.

"Until next time: Take that next step, and catch your second wind."

References and Further Reading: Episode 5

On Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG)

• Work of Richard Tedeschi & Lawrence Calhoun: These are the psychologists who pioneered the concept of PTG. Their book, "Trauma and Transformation," is a foundational text. The American Psychological Association (APA) has an excellent article titled "Growth after trauma" that summarizes their work.

• "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl: A profound exploration of finding meaning in suffering, which is a core component of growth.

On Generativity and Meaning

• Erik Erikson's Stages of Psychosocial Development: Resources on Erikson's work will explain the concept of "Generativity vs. Stagnation," the stage of adult development focused on contributing to the next generation and the greater good.

• The CHIME Framework for Recovery: This model highlights five key processes for a fulfilling recovery: Connectedness, Hope, Identity, Meaning, and Empowerment.

On Practical Strategies for Growth

• Dr. Kate Lorig & The Chronic Disease Self-Management Program: The work done by Dr. Lorig and her team at Stanford University is the foundation for patient self-management programs worldwide. Searching for her name and the "CDSMP" will provide extensive information on the "weekly action plan" and other tools for taking control of your health.

• Research of Robert Emmons & Michael McCullough: These psychologists are pioneers in the scientific study of gratitude. Their work provides the evidence that gratitude is a trainable skill that leads to measurable improvements in well-being and health.