Bouncing Back Stronger

Season 1 Episode 3

Cultivating a Growth Mindset in Recovery

Episode Summary

Feeling recovery's a battle? Join Jan Carter on Second Wind as he tackles the frustration of daily routines, unwanted exercise, and self-doubt after a major health event. You'll learn not just to face your new reality, but to thrive in it.  Discover how to reframe negative thoughts, leverage a growth mindset, and turn small wins into powerful motivation. This episode offers actionable strategies and an interview with Leon Bayer, a coach who knows that movement is medicine. Tune in to embrace your empowered comeback.

COLD OPEN

There are two lives you live after a major health crisis.

There's the one everyone else sees: the survivor, the lucky one. Then there’s the one you actually live. The one defined by bone-deep exhaustion. The one where your day is ruled by a pillbox. The one where the voice of doubt has just enough power to make you want to give up before you even start."

You are so grateful for the first life. But you're exhausted from living every single moment in the second. So the question is, how do you move from just surviving to actually thriving? How do you find your second wind and start reclaiming your life?"

"I’m Jan Carter, and this is Second Wind. A few years ago, after blood clots in my lungs sidelined my entire life, I had to ask that exact question. I’m not a doctor or a guru. I'm a guy in his 40s who had to learn how to rebuild, balancing work, family, and a recovery that felt impossibly slow."

"This podcast is our roadmap. Together, we'll talk to experts and share comeback stories to find the practical advice and inspiration to take control and shape the life ahead of us."

"Today, we're tackling how to shift your perspective when facing the parts of recovery you genuinely dislike, and how to cultivate a 'growth mindset' to turn those moments of resistance into opportunities for strength. And by the end of this episode, you’ll have three simple strategies you can use immediately."

"You are not on this path alone. Let's get into it."

[SOUND: Music swells briefly and then fades out completely as the main content begins.]

Jan: After four months of forced inactivity from the blood clots, I was 20 pounds heavier, muscles had atrophied, and I was desperate to reclaim my body. The moment my doctor told me the clots had cleared and my shortness of breath should go away, I went straight back to what I thought would be the quickest way to get back, by running.

But the reality was brutal. I had this picture in my head of how it should feel, but every run was a battle against a body that felt alien. I’d injury myself just running down the block. A pulled calf would sideline me for weeks. Then, a strained back.

I felt like I was taking one small step forward and two massive steps back. The thought that kept screaming in my head was, ‘My body is just broken now, and I should get used to this.’

That right there? That’s the perfect trap of a fixed mindset. It’s a dead-end belief that tells you your best days are behind you, and there's no point in even trying."

I. Understanding the Growth Mindset: Your Foundation for Transformation

Jan: The thing that changed everything for me was discovering this idea called a 'growth mindset.' My kids introduced me to it over dinner and I read up about the work of a psychologist, Carol Dweck, and it was like a lightbulb went on. The idea is simple: what if our abilities aren't set in stone? What if we can actually develop them through effort?"

And here’s the astonishing part—this isn't just some self-help mantra. It's actual brain science. It’s based on the concept called neuroplasticity, which is just a fancy way of saying our brain can literally rewire itself. Every time I tried that awkward new exercise, I wasn't just struggling; I was building a new road in my brain. That idea gave me so much power.

This is your superpower because it reframes the entire journey. A setback is no longer a failure; it’s just feedback.  And that shift is crucial. Studies consistently show that adopting a growth mindset is associated with lower levels of depression and anxiety because it changes how you interpret adversity. It allows you to stay motivated and build a stronger 'new you'—one small step at a time

Myth Buster Minute

(SFX: Myth Buster sound effect - a quick whoosh and a 'ding')

Jan: "This brings us to our first Myth Buster Minute. Myth: If you can't get back to doing exactly what you did before your health event, you've failed at recovery. Truth: A growth mindset is all about embracing new possibilities. Your recovery isn't about perfectly replicating your 'old self'; it's about building a stronger, more resilient 'new you' based on your current body and capabilities. Success is finding joy and progress in the activities you can do now, even if they're different. It's about adapting, innovating, and growing beyond previous definitions of 'fit' or 'healthy'."

(SFX: Myth Buster sound effect)

II. Reframing Your Narrative: Practical Strategies for Negative Thoughts

Okay, so we understand the power of a growth mindset and how our brain can literally rewire itself. But how do we put this into practice when those negative thoughts creep in?"

"In this next section, we’re going to cover three powerful ways to do just that. First, we’ll talk about the crucial first step: how to give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling, without judgment. Then, I’ll share a practical technique for challenging those negative thoughts and literally rewriting your internal script. And finally, we'll cover a simple two-word phrase that has the power to completely transform how you see your own limitations."

Validate

I'll never forget trying to put a fitted sheet on my bed, a frustrating task at the best of times, but I still had blood clots in my lungs and I was feeling weak, I dropped a corner for the third time. A hot flash of pure rage shot through me. My instinct? Punch the mattress and curse my weak body for being useless.

But this time, I stopped. I took one breath and asked myself a different question: 'What do I actually need right now?'

The answer wasn't to fight the sheet. It was to sit on the edge of the bed and catch my breath for a minute.

It sounds tiny, but that single choice was everything. It was the difference between a downward spiral of self-blame and a moment of self-compassion

And what I realized in that moment, sitting on the edge of my bed, was that I had to stop fighting myself. I had to give myself permission to be angry, to be weak, to be frustrated. You can't start building until you acknowledge the ground you're standing on. It’s not about wallowing; it’s about validating that the struggle is real, and that’s okay.

Later I learned there's a simple name for what I did. Validating your emotions. It is essential to grant yourself permission to fully experience your feelings, whether they be anger, sadness, or terror. Attempting to suppress or ignore these emotions is akin to holding a beach ball underwater; they will inevitably resurface, often with greater intensity."

Acknowledging these feelings serves to disarm their power. It prevents the trap of 'toxic positivity,' where suppressing genuine feelings leads to more stress and self-judgment. According to leading self-compassion researcher Dr. Kristin Neff, this process involves three core steps. First, Be Mindful: Acknowledge that 'this is a moment of suffering' without judgment. Second, Recognize Common Humanity: Remind yourself that suffering is a part of life and you are not alone in it. And third, Be Kind to Yourself: Ask yourself, 'What do I need right now?' and offer yourself understanding."

Cognitive Reframing

A few months ago, during the winter, I woke up, it was dark, and it had been raining for what felt like weeks on end. Everything felt depressing. Then the reminder on my phone went off – 'Time to take my anticoagulant pill.' These pills, for blood clots, are a permanent part of my life now, a constant reminder of something that almost killed me. As I reached for the pillbox, feeling like a little old man, I thought, 'How frustrating, how unfair, that I have to take this medication.  There was nothing I could have done to prevent this, and now I have to constantly take these pills!' It was limiting activities I used to enjoy, and in that moment, all I could focus on was the perceived loss."

"But then I paused. And I thought, 'Well, these pills are actively keeping me alive!' Which, of course, is nice. But I pushed further. 'Why do I care about that?' And the answer became clear: 

• 'One, it means I get to do more things that I want to do, even if they're going to be different. I loved skiing but due to the risks to haemorrhaging if I crash I can’t ski or snowboard the runs I used to do with my sons.  But I do get to do some slightly more gentle ski runs with my wife who isn’t trying to do jumps in the terrain parks like my kids. Also, I enjoyed skiing the hard terrain because I gave me some exercise.  Well, I can do something else to get some exercise and I’ve never tried pickleball and that would be a fun family activity.

• And that led me to my next thought. Who else benefits because I am taking these pills. Well, I get to spend time with my family – watching and supporting my children grow, and seeing my wife continue to develop in her career and interests.' 

• Because of this pill, I could do all of that. I switched my thinking from 'I have to take this' to 'I’m glad modern medicine has invented this pill, which allows me to continue with very few other side effects, apart from the much higher risk of hemorrhaging if I'm injured. But otherwise, this pill is keeping me alive so I can do all of these other things'. By taking this pill, I get to do all of these other things now."

This is applying another powerful tool called Cognitive Reframing. Reframing is a powerful technique rooted in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that involves shifting perspectives to view situations or challenges in a more positive or constructive light. It can be particularly valuable for helping us overcome obstacles, manage stress, and develop that more resilient mindset.

First, you state the problem. For example: 'I hate that I have to take this pill every day.'"

"Second, you ask a strange question: What are the benefits here? Well I’m alive

"Third, you connect that benefit to 'Why' those benefits matter. I like getting exercise, challenge myself a little bit each day, and have the energy to do the daily things.

"And finally, you expand it to 'Who' else benefits. The answer almost always points to the people you love—your friends, family, etc. But specifically I am alive and can be part of my family’s lives, I can set a good example to my kids that when I’m facing an adversity, I can show them that it doesn’t define me but I adapt and I will thrive and I hope they will too whenever they face any adversity.

Not Yet Principle

"After getting the all-clear from my doctor, I remember thinking I should test my baseline strength. I got down on the floor to try some simple push-ups and sit-ups. I managed about three push-ups before my arms started shaking like leaves in a hurricane. And sit-ups? Let’s just say my back was more interested in staying flat on the floor than participating. My first thought was a wave of despair: 'I can't do this anymore. I've lost it all.' But then, I caught myself and deliberately reframed it: 'I can't do as many push-ups… yet.'"

"That tiny word changed everything. It created an opening. To keep myself motivated, I asked my 18-year-old nephew what fitness app he was using. I downloaded it, and we made a pact to send each other a screenshot of our completed daily workout. It was incredibly motivating, and also incredibly humbling. He was on the 'Elite Spartan' difficulty setting, while I was very much on the 'Newborn baby' level. But it didn't matter. Seeing his checkmark and sending mine created a positive feedback loop. It was all about that 'yet'."

And that little word comes from this incredibly simple but powerful idea I learned from Carol Dweck's work, which she calls the 'not yet' principle. This is a simple linguistic adjustment that involves adding 'not yet' to any fixed mindset statement. So, for instance, if the thought is 'I can't do this,' it transforms into 'I can't do this yet'. This subtle shift fundamentally reorients your perspective. It acknowledges that your abilities are developable, and that your brain, through neuroplasticity, is always capable of learning and improving. This directly combats the self-stigma and self-limiting beliefs so common in chronic illness and recovery, providing a simple way to shift your brain's perception from a permanent limitation to a temporary, solvable challenge."

III. Conclusion

(SOUND: Gentle, reflective music fades in softly in the background.)

"And that's a wrap on this episode of Second Wind. My key takeaway from today is that cultivating a growth mindset is your superpower in recovery. It's about acknowledging your feelings, reframing negative thoughts from 'I can't' to 'I can't yet', and understanding that every small step fuels your motivation and builds resilience. And remember, you're not meant to do this alone; connection is truly a medical necessity."

"Looking back, I now measure my physical fitness in very different ways. Before, it was about mountain biking or skiing down the hardest slopes – things I can no longer do due to the anticoagulant pills and the risk of hemorrhaging. But I've found new activities, new ways to move, and honestly, a year and a half after I was declared free of blood clots, I am stronger and have more stamina than I have ever had.  And I'm not comparing myself to the reckless 20-year-old I used to be—honestly, there was no good reason for a man in his late 40’s to go crashing down a ski slope like that anyway. The point is, I've built a more resilient, deliberate strength that serves the life I have today. And that feels like the biggest win of all

Your Next Small Step

(A short, distinct musical bumper for the next segment)

Jan: "Now for 'Your Next Small Step'. This week, I want you to pick one negative thought about your recovery that often pops into your head. It could be about your current limitations, or how unfair something feels. Once you've identified it, I want you to try consciously adding the phrase '...not yet' to the end of that thought. For example, 'I can't run a mile… not yet'. Or, 'My energy isn't where it used to be… not yet'. Just notice how that simple addition shifts your perspective. Write down the original thought and your 'not yet' version in a note on your phone, or on a piece of paper. That's it. Just that small shift."

"Until next time: Take that next step, and catch your second wind."

References and Further Reading

Growth Mindset & Neuroplasticity:

• Frontiers in Psychology (Editorial): "Editorial: Post-traumatic growth" by Senol-Durak E, Di Tella M and Romeo A (2023)

• American Psychological Association (APA): "Speaking of Psychology: Transformation after trauma, with Richard Tedeschi, PhD"

• PubMed Central (PMC): "Post-Traumatic Growth as Positive Personality Change: Challenges, Opportunities and Recommendations" by Jayawickreme, E., & Blackie, L. E. (2021)

• PubMed Central (PMC): "Neuroplasticity subserving motor skill learning" by Dayan, E., & Cohen, L. G. (2011).

Mind-Body Connection & Stress:

• American Psychiatric Association Publishing: "Psychoneuroimmunology" (Book overview/description)

Cognitive Reframing & "Not Yet" Principle:

• Stanford University Teaching Commons: "Growth Mindset and Enhanced Learning" by Carol Dweck.

• Cleveland Clinic: "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): What It Is & Techniques". 

• Mayo Clinic: "Cognitive behavioral therapy". 

Motivation & Dopamine:

• Wikipedia: "Compulsion loop"

• Psych Central: "Dopamine Detox: Does it Work?" 

Optimism & Habits:

• Stanford Center on Longevity: "Practice of the Month: Cultivating a Habit of Optimism" (2025).

• Love Not Fear: "The Maui Habit: What It Is and Why You Need to Start Doing It".

Social Connection:

• PubMed Central (PMC): "Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-analytic Review" by Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Link to PMC Article

• Mayo Clinic: "Support groups: Make connections, get help".